Welp folks, its that time of the year again, the Octoberfest Sam Adam’s has hit the bars, the Pumpkin Spice Latte’s are flowing freely from every Starbucks in town and the leaves are a turnin’, that’s right… it’s time to find someone to shack up with for the winter.
Now, some call it a winter boo or lover, but whatever term you use, the feeling is all the same, you need someone to keep you warm on those snowy, cold nights. In my younger and slightly less mature days, I was convinced that this was the only time of the year that anyone, man or woman needed a significant other. I was absolutely convinced that for 4 or 5 months (depending on your geographical location, in Boston it’s sometimes six) it was great to have a man or woman, and for the rest, well, play it by ear I suppose, but it wasn’t all that necessary. Though my thoughts on significant others have changed drastically I still understand the value in finding someone for the winter time.
Think about it, days are getting shorter and the nights longer, there’s a chill in the air leading into freezing cold or snowy nights and well shit it’s the holiday’s. There are holiday parties, gift exchanges, mistletoe popping up around every corner, not to mention, new years. I’d include Valentine ’s Day in there for those of you who celebrate it, I personally think it’s ridiculous, though kudos to Hallmark on a job well done.
Now is the time. I know we all want to bask in the last few days of summer that have been lingering in some cities for the last week or two, but as you are laying out in the grass, sipping late afternoon martini’s on an outside patio or throwing on that summer outfit before the days of coat check and losing scarves begin don’t forget it’s also planning season.
This season or idea has no gender, there is no right or wrong way to go about getting one, there is just the cold hard fact that you definitely need one. It’s not about a jump-off, friend with benefits or any of those other surface relationships, in my opinion you legitimately find someone that you can tolerate spending nights with, enjoying Bailey’s spiked hot chocolate with while watching a movie and actually hold a conversation with, in case God forbid you get snowed in one day and have to spend all day in bed with them…
Why do you think there are so many June babies? That’s right, There’s really no other reason. I’m not saying you have to go get preggers or anything crazy like that, but realize the situation and that soon you are going to want the company of someone that can make it through the entire season…
When I started writing this and mentioned the topic to one of my girls she said she hoped I’d be giving a bit of advice on how to actually get one. I am not man getting expert, different things work for different people, but I thought of the top five things that will aid in the search for the winter boo. There are a few things that you can personally do in preparation and when you meet the potentials…
- Get out of your summer dating mentality. I know, summer is a great time to be single, date a little, hit the beach, meet a girl/guy, travel kiss boys or girls you’ll never see again in states or countries you’ll never visit again or just have a fling, I get it, it’s fun, I’ve been there. Thing is, that’s just not going to fly year round kids.
- Don’t go off of looks alone. We’re all drawn to a cute face or nice body, but be sure that when you are looking for someone to spend this time with, that on your first night in you won’t be running for the exit, even if it is 10 below.
- Be consistent. If you want him/her over when it’s cold or you need company and then when they ask for the favor to be returned you fail to follow through, it’s most likely that you are going to end up in the cold alone before spring hits. We all know it’s chilly, we feel lazy, and don’t want to throw on all that snow gear, but sometimes you just have to sacrifice.
- Keep it interesting. A lot of the time these relationships are based on inside activities, after a few times hanging out you may start to run out of things to do that take up more of your time together than a cool 45 mins to an hour or two. Think of some things, games, movies, projects or maybe even outings depending on your weather conditions that will keep both of you interested.
- Don’t shit where you eat. This is honestly my only real piece of advice ever when dating. Not that I personally follow it all the time, or ever, but it’s definitely the best advice I have. Whether it is work, school, mutual friends etc. it is a slippery slope. This slope gets even steeper and even slippery-er when it’s a winter boo. The thing about them is that you just don’t know how long they will be around, if it is in fact just for a season, there is definite potential for awkwardness during the other three of the year.
Those are the best ones I can think of, and most universal as well. Some of you may have others, please feel free to share them. Whatever your thoughts on how to go about getting one, if you should have one and what you should do when you get one, remember that, everyone needs one. If you are in a relationship now, well, my best advice is…don’t fuck up. No one wants to get dumped in the winter and it’s the worst time to lick your wounds of relationships past by far.
Best of luck to you all during the searching season…