I could be totally and absolutely wrong about this assumption, but I think, and even more so, I hope (so I’m not alone in this) that we all have that person that we just can’t quit.
This came to mind for a couple of reasons, including, but not limited to: Rihanna’s video for We Found Love, stories from friends relationships and well…my life. So, it got me thinking, what the F is really good? I don’t mean like that one off time that you hooked up with your ex when you were drunk or just lonely. And I’m definitely not talking about a booty call that you always go back to. I’m talking about real and present emotions, feelings, actions and situations with the same person over and over and over and over again.
You’ve been in a relationship or not. You’ve been in love and lust. You’ve missed, dissed, hated and debated over this person. But for some reason, when it comes down to them, you just cannot end it. You can’t stay away, let go or completely move on. But, you also, ironically, cannot commit. Now, if I’ve lost you here, please, tell me, like really, in the comments, tell me, “you’re alone in this one” (I’ve been looking for a therapist and this may be just the push I need).
It could be you. Your parents had a bad divorce, you aren’t big on commitment, you never know what you want. Or, it could be them. They are there and then they’re not. They love you and then they don’t. Or, most likely, it could be both of you, together. There are things left unsaid, words never spoken or feelings never shared. You know everything in the world about this person except for if they really, really could be with you forever.
Now, my best guess on why people do this is because, well, it feels like home. Someone who knows you, understands your insecurities and past and has even been there for a lot of it. This person is not fly by night relationship or something to do with your time (not to say that you’ve never treated them like that). They are, essentially, the one. Now, I say essentially because, it’s not literally, it’s not even actually, but, if things were, well, perfect, you’d be together. You would get over your hang-ups, your past and your worries and you’d just be…together.
But you can’t. Or you won’t so you pretend, playact, dibble and dabble in other relationships, situations, girl/boy friends, feelings and dealings. Because simple is better than difficult and you don’t have to guard your heart if there is no chance of loosing it like you have before.
So, I know, I usually give advice, grand insights, funny quips to get you to a place of understanding on a matter that totally and utterly eludes understanding on any sober or intoxicated level. But, I honestly can say, this time, I don’t have a laundry list of information or advice. I just wanted to make you think about that person, in case you haven’t in a while…purposely. And in case you need to. I’ll leave you with this:
“Love, relationships and matters of the heart are some of the few things in life that we will always learn and grow from. So don’t be afraid to let them happen, you owe it to yourself and your future.” – anon
Carpe that fucking Diem.