You know that moment. That split second you get to make a tough decision, or better yet an easy decision that’s tough to articulate? I hate that moment. It’s never enough time. And furthermore, you rarely are smart enough to take a hard swallow…of your pride.
I think we’ve all been there. Man or woman (though usually man), we’ve all had that moment when we could stop something awful from happening, we could say I love you or we could just say, stay…and we don’t. When questioning why we do this, I think it stems from a lot of places, history, fear, uncertainty, the possibility of rejection or even the possibility of a love or happiness that we never thought we deserved.
Pride is a sneaky bitch. It could be one wrong word, a statement, a missed opportunity or even an off action that puts our pride wall into place. It shuts us down. We forget what we’ve been through and where we want to go and we are in the moment. We are in the exact second and we choose what ever comes to us first. For most people it’s to say no, I can’t do this or I don’t want to…for most people it’s to close ourselves off for protection.
Our pride is our armor. She can’t hurt you if you “don’t care.” You can’t worry about him if he “isn’t special.” And we don’t just say it, we let ourselves truly believe it. We convince our minds that our hearts don’t care and then, when that split second comes, where we have a choice, where we can let ourselves be vulnerable, we don’t swallow hard, we wrap ourselves tight in our pride and say things that we don’t really mean.
So, take a moment to reflect on what you’ve passed up for pride. Are you better off because of it? Do you miss him or her…or what you had? Are you still looking for what your had in that person in everyone else you meet? The only way to not get caught up on it in the future is to acknowledge where it stopped you in the past. Start there and remember, pride closes us off to the possibility. And what life is worth living without an endless supply of possibilities? Exactly…