I wasn’t going to write today. But then I read a ridiculous article about “Why So Many Good Black Men Are Still Single” (I wish there was a hard eye-rolling font). And honestly, it was not only ridiculous because ALL 12 reasons listed had to do with women, but because there is clearly a bigger, more delusional issue here.
There is a not so new trend out there, one that possesses people of all races, genders, creeds and class to tell women why they aren’t married. How it’s a huge travesty that so many Black women are single. They give advice, they tell us what we are doing, what we shouldn’t be doing and what we must do. The advice comes from people like comedian and radio personality Steve Harvey and even more ridiculous sources like the Wall Street Journal, and THRICE-DIVORCED Tracy McMillan (though some of her points did make sense, can’t lie). No really…wtf?
So back to the topic at hand. Guys. You are single….because get this….you want to be. Yes, just that simple. EVERYONE has the exact love/relationship/dating life that they want. So turn that accusing finger right around to your self because women, your daddy, the economy…none of those people or things are to blame.
Now, I’m not saying that women don’t blame other people or that there are no arguments out there that point the finger at men and all of the difficulties they can cause. No, I know they are there. And I’m sure someone reading this will try to bring them all up, but honestly, take a breath and realize that the number of articles blaming women for their own singleness heavily out weighs the other. If it didn’t I would have never started this blog and wouldn’t have enough content for it to last for almost two years now…
So the question is, if women blame themselves, men blame woman, the general public is pointing the finger towards women…when do guys look in the mirror and say…”Maybe it’s me?” I’ll wait.
I think all people, ALL people, who are looking for something more, who are in search for a significant other or who just feel like, “when’s my time to meet the one?” Should take a minute and assess what they have been doing, what they could do better and what they’re not willing to do to find someone to spend their life with…it may surprise you what you come up with when you stop playing the blame game with your love life.
In the end, be the change you want to see. If you want a guy or girl to stop treating you like you don’t matter, than you’ve got to know you’re better than that. If you keep finding people who you think are with you for superficial reasons then you’ve got to seek a deeper connection than “I thought they were hot in the bar.” We’ve all be hurt, come back from a break up, dealt with a liar/cheater, picked the wrong person, felt wronged, felt hurt and Lord knows felt confused. You’re not the only one, get past that, save the pity party and get out there and live the answers. Seriously, what are you waiting for?