4048402….I’ve had the same phone number for seven years. No changes, same shit different states. Now, some dudes I have and do talk to use it sparingly, which I suppose is cool with me because I am not a huge phone talker with guys. If they live in the same state, I would rather face time. If they don’t live in the same state, I won’t lie, as non-demanding as I may be, I like if a guy hits me up once a week, forget that even once every two weeks, to make sure I have all my limbs, I haven’t fallen into a life of cocaine and meth and that shits just cool with me. Unless you do hit me up, how do I know that you even care if I am strung out somewhere on the mean streets of Boston or not? Exactly I don’t, and am left to believe that you just don’t give a damn, and when you see me with one arm you won’t care then either.
I know that a lot of guys are not into long phone conversations or are busy and what not (though you know my motto: busy is bullshit), but they don’t realize that a 3 to 5 minute phone call, could get them more points, props and sex than they would have gotten other wise. Women love when a guy hits them up, even if it is just to say “hi, how was your day?” or even better “I was just thinking of you” extra points given to “Can’t wait to see you this weekend”. Seriously, you can use those words verbatim and put your self on the top of some chicks awesome list. It doesn’t have to be a two hour conversation about what she ate that day and how the bitch at work is driving her crazy, you can talk about that shit in person, if at all. A phone call says, I was thinking of you and I care how you are doing. I feel like a lot of times a guy thinks about a girl and wonders how she is doing and then figures that a phone call doesn’t fit into his day and moves on. There are also times that guys might feel like they don’t want to seem too into her, but if she’s not feeling you or just isn’t that into you then she won’t answer, but if she is, that call can make all the difference. I should add that as I’ve said before, in these days of booming technology people think that, facebook messages, gchats, IM’s and twittering can cover it, but it just doesn’t.
In other posts I have even mentioned slydial.com. Yeah, it’s a little sneaky, but a damn good call for the guy who doesn’t want to talk long or doesn’t have “time for a phone call” (womp). Leave her a message, keep it short and tell her you’ll hit her up to make plans later. If you’re not in the same vicinity text a message that you would love to talk to her when you are free that weekend and then follow up with a phone call when you do have time. You just need to do something that says, I care that you still have air in your lungs.
In my past life, (aka last year) when I wasn’t in school, did have a job and a wonderful life, (can you tell I miss it?) I talked to a guy who didn’t live near me as unfortunately I tend to do. The kicker was, this guy knew that in a mere matter of months that I would in fact be moving back into his town, making it prime time to put in just a little bit of effort to secure a continued relationship when I come to town or at least try to guarantee some ass. Now, after 10 plus hours working on Capitol Hill the very last thing that I wanted to do was spend an hour texting how my day went. I had sat at a computer for hours at a time, I chatted, emailed, wrote memos and messaged for hours a day, I needed some voice on voice contact. So, when I would get his text messages asking how my day was, it not only annoyed me, but I had no desire to respond. Now don’t get it confused, I called this guy when I wanted to talk. From talking to a lot of my guy friends lately they’ve told me how they don’t like how guys have to “do all the work”, so I will let it be known that it was not one of those situations. It was as if this guy had forgotten how to pick up the phone or use the dial pad for anything other than writing letters. Needless to say it bothered me, and lead to some heated conversations when we did talk. All of which could have been avoided had he just called.
As I think most of you may know, love it or hate it every single thing that you do and consequently do not do when you are talking to, dating or in a relationship with a girl we notice. We then proceed to think about it, then analyze it, sometimes go over it with our friends and then come to a conclusion. Now for some women they come to the conclusion that you were busy and if you spend enough face time with them they know you actually do like them, they will look past the lack of phone calls, but you can be sure that it probably does bother them. For other women they take your inaction as an action. I know because that woman is me a lot of the time. If you can’t find 5 minutes in a week to call me and say hi, or see how my day went then I am going to assume that you don’t actually care, which is fine if you don’t, but don’t be surprised if that lack of interest and care is reciprocated, even when that is not what you intended to put across by not calling. We can’t read your minds, we don’t know that you’re thinking of us unless you tell us. I am sure you’re wondering, why I and other women don’t just say something, well think about it like this: Is morning head as good when you have to beg for it? Or better when she just gets down there for a pleasant morning greeting? Exactly, we want to know that you have just a little bit of common sense to know things that may make us happy. It’s not that it’s a deal breaker, but if you actually like the girl it’s just something simple you can do to make her smile and to have something to brag to her friends about.
All of this is null and void if you don’t really fucks with some chick. If you are just trying to get her into bed or if you just don’t give a fuck about what she thinks of you, what happens between you two or if the relationship goes anywhere. In that case, like I’ve said before, just go ahead and leave her alone, no one has time for all those games. If you do like her, you want her to be in your life, even if it is not necessarily as your girl just yet, but at least as someone you care about, pick up the phone. Dial her number and sacrifice that five minutes of your Monday evening and let her know that you thought of her, that you care that she hasn’t had a run in with the mafia, lost her big toe on her left foot or even that she just plain old had a shitty or great day.
I should add:
1. Calling at 3am for ass doesn’t count, sorry.
2. Excessive calling, especially when there is no response=not awesome.
3. It’s always the worst when you call tons early on in dating b/c you think you have to then slowly just stop putting in effort, we can tell.
Next Week: Don’t Forget the Foreplay. Dancing, kissing and all of that other stuff that leads up to sex really does matter, we are taking note and taking your actions as hints on how you’ll be in bed.